Holding God’s Hand
Life is funny. Not always ha-ha funny, but odd funny. Just two weeks ago, I never would have thought, it never would have even entered my mind, that I’d be so giddy over the results of a CAT scan. The scan showed that there is no metastisis of the cancer in any other organs. Now, this doesn’t mean it isn’t in the lymph nodes; we won’t know that until after sugery when the removed nodes are tested. But it’s still a huge praise. Metastisis was something that was heavy on my mind and in my dreams (nightmares).
It’s funny (again, odd) how life changes and your focus changes with it. A few short weeks ago, my focus was on writing my next book, the storyline, the characters, the plot, the tension. I haven’t touched it in two weeks and probably won’t until after surgery. For now, this is my writing; this is my release. This is my life.
An observation. Jen and I are having a hard time focusing on the mundane things of life. Work. Laundry. Cleaning. Doing the dishes. Taking out the garbage. When something as big as a tumor is sitting center stage, everyday chores–the things we once thought were so urgent and needful–now seem unimportant. Again, a change in focus.
Isaiah 41:10 & 13 are some of the verses that are carrying me through this valley.
So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. For I am the LORD, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you.
At times, I can feel God’s holy hand wrapping around mine (much in the same way I take my daughter’s tiny hand in mine when she’s afraid) and hear his gentle voice whisper in my ear, “Don’t be afraid, son, I’ll help you through this.”