A Long, Grueling Road Ahead
Now I know why people refer to their bout with cancer as a battle. It’s a long, grueling process. I’ll write more on the subject of this battle called cancer tomorrow. For today, an update and a little encouragement (I need it!!).
After meeting with the surgeon yesterday I once again left feeling gut-punched. It’s not his fault, it’s my expectations. After looking at the tumor he feels the best route to take is to do radiation first to shrink the tumor. Then surgery. Then chemo. Sooo . . . sometime soon (don’t have a hard date yet . . . still working on the scheduling thing) I’ll get one dose of chemo then six weeks of radiation. This will be followed by two months off to let the colon recover from the radiation before doing sugery. Then six months of chemo after surgery.
Also, the surgeon said he’s almost certain I won’t need a permanent colostomy but will most likely need a temporary ileostomy (“the bag” in layman’s terms) for six to ten weeks. To reverse the ileostomy is another surgery. All said, this takes us into next year.
Not wanted I wanted to hear. I was hoping for a quick surgery and get this thing over with. Yesterday, I was very discouraged, the lowest I’ve been since getting the diagnosis (this cancer thing is a roller coaster ride of emotions . . . more on that tomorrow).
This morning I’m feeling a bit better about things after my wife left me a little note telling me to read Psalm 34.
Here’s a few verses that spoke to me:
4 I sought the LORD and He answered me; He delivered me from all my fears.
6 The angel of the LORD encamps around those who fear Him, and He delivers them.
17 The righteous cry out, and the LORD hears them; He delivers them from all their troubles. 18 The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.
Crushed in spirit. Hey, I might as well be honest, that’s me right now. I’ll bounce back. I’ll spend some time meditating on these verses and reminding myself that God is in control of all this, that He is near me, encamped around me, delivering me even now. That the battle is His.