Monster on a Leash
I spent my day yesterday drinking a half-gallon of NuLYTEL (liquid laxative) and popping four laxative pills and one suppository in preparation for my ultrasound this morning. Note: NuLYTEL tastes like liquid Clorox and just the smell of it makes me shiver. They give you these little “flavor packets” to go with it. I used the cherry one which only made it taste like liquid Clorox with a hint of cherry. Nasty stuff. But so far God’s been gracious. I’ve not had any discomfort with this cancer and if the most I have to deal with is a good powerwashing of my colon from time to time and a 6:45 am doctor’s appointment to have an ultrasound wand inserted in my rectum, that’s not so bad.
Jen left me a note this morning. She does this from time to time to encourage me as I start my day. Part of it read:
God is so much more powerful than anything on this earth. He is in charge and no one tells Him what to do! Life comes to us through Him–and He knows the end result: our good, His glory.
What a wonderful wife, partner, supporter, and encourager I have!
This made me think of Jesus and Pontius Pilate. Before Easter, Jen and I watched the movie The Passion of the Christ again. One of my favorite scenes is when Pilate tells Jesus, “Don’t you know I have the power to either free you or crucify you?”
Jesus’ reply can be found in John 19:11: “You would have no power over me if it were not given to you from above.”
This cancer, this thing inside me, has no power over me unless it is given it from above. God’s got this monster on a leash. He’s calling the shots. My story’s already been penned by His hand; I’m just living it out in real time here.
What a comfort it is to know that I’m not a cancer victim, that would mean the cancer is in charge. No, I’m no victim, I’m a victor because my God is in charge. And no matter what happens, the end result is always the same: my good, His glory.