This Angry Storm
Okay, now I’m in pain . . . UNCLE. I had the surgery yesterday to implant the port in my left chest wall and it hurts. This is the most pain I’ve experienced since the day after surgery, and I’m back on percocet. Fortunately, it only hurts when I move my shoulder so I can still type.
After the surgery, I had an educational class on chemotherapy where a nurse went over the specific medications I’ll be receiving and the specific side effects I could experience. Some I knew about (hair loss, mouth sores, nausea, vomiting, fatigue) and some I wasn’t expecting (sensitivity to cold–that means if I experience this side effect, no popsicles, no slushies, no snowballs, no ice cream, no ice for six months). Talk about a bummer.
Needless to say (or maybe I need to say it) all this information has me a bit fearful. I could experience all the symptoms or none or only a few. It’s wait and see.
This morning I read in Matthew 8 about the disciples and the boat and storm at sea. You know the story. Boat on water, raging storm, Jesus is asleep, disciples think they’re gonna die. They wake Jesus up and say, “Save us! We’re dyin‘ here!”
Jesus wipes the sleep from his eyes, looks around, and says, “Why are you so scared? Where’s your faith?” He then stands on the bow of the boat, wind whipping his hair, rain spattering his face, and tells the storm to knock it off. And, of course, it obeys.
Am I one of those disciples? Man oh man am I ever. The storms of life are kicking up, the wind, the rain, oh my. I’m clutching the side of the boat, eyes wide with fear, uncertainty looming before me like a typhoon, screaming, “Lord, save me!”
And you know what Jesus answers? “Why are you so scared? Where’s your faith?”
Where is my faith? I know Jesus can calm any storm, even the storms of life . . . even the storms of my life. Only he can rebuke those angry winds and pelting rains and bring peace where there seems there is none.
As I’ve mentioned before, it’s a matter of perspective and focus. Am I looking at the storm or at my Lord?