Ruler of ALL
Well, I made it through the darkest part of the valley again. I’m finding the four days following chemo treatments are the toughest, the loneliest, the most trying days. It’s hard to describe exactly how I feel. There’s a physical aspect, the nausea, fatigue, thirst, body aches, but even worse is the psychological and emotional aspects.
It’s a very dark time crowded with thoughts of doubt and despair. I find myself reasoning with myself whether it’s all worth it or not, tempted to just throw in the towel and take my chances. Call it quits. Mood swings abound, irritability, restlessness, sleeplessness. I pity my family, I really do. I know I’m no fun to live with during those days.
Anyway, I’m not writing all this to get your sympathy. It’s the road I’ve been given to travel. Like it or not.
I do have a point, though.
In Psalm 103:19, David sings, The LORD has established his throne in heaven, and his kingdom rules over all.
Did you catch that last word? It’s easy to miss as it’s only three letters. ALL.
His kingdom rules over all. That’s not just talking in terms of geography. The Lord rules over all. He rules over this cancer and it’s blasted side effects. He rules over this valley I’m stuck in for the moment. He rules over my darkest hours and the light glowing just around the corner. He rules over the entire circumstance.
I know I pound this home week after week, but I really need to keep reminding myself . . . God is in control. He is ruler of ALL, reigning from His throne in heaven, but intimately involved in even the most mundane aspects of my life.
That’s something. Really something.