I saw my surgeon yesterday and we laid out the plan for my immediate future. Next Tuesday, December 16, I’ll have a sigmoidoscopy done. That’s like a half-colonoscopy done while you’re still awake. Then on January 7 I’ll have surgery to reverse the ostomy. He said I’ll be in the hospital “a couple days” then off work three to four weeks.
I know it’s really weird but I’m excited about this surgery (though there are aspects about it I’m not excited about). For me, it marks the end of a long journey.
I think back to my first surgery, the colon resection and tumor removal. That marked the beginning. Everything was new. We were still dealing with the reality of cancer, I was having part of me removed, given an ostomy, starting chemo . . . It wasn’t a good time.
This surgery brings closure. It’s the final chapter to what has been an interesting and sometimes suspenseful story. And now that I have a date to attach to it, that makes it all the more real.
Of course, there are anxieties that accompany something like this. What if something goes wrong? What if he can’t reverse it? I have this ongoing waking nightmare that I’m going to wake up from surgery and still have the ostomy.
Jen is anxious too. She remembers what I looked like after the first surgery (“Like death warmed over you,” she says). And she also remembers the difficult time we both had post surgery in the hospital and at home. Prayerfully, this time around will be different. The surgery is not as involved and we won’t have all that other baggage attached to it.
At this time of year we hear a lot about Emmanuel, God with us. How timely and how I need the reminder.