Back to Work

My three-week recovery period is about to come to a close. Monday I head back to work. It’s so much different this time than it was last May. Last time I was off for six weeks and went back part-time carrying a bunch of baggage (chemo and not feeling well, the ostomy and trying to figure out how to live with it and appear normal, fear of what the future held, and being severely deconditioned, just to name a few). It was hard. Very hard. Even though I’d worked there for 11 years I felt like a stranger. I had an awful time adjusting to life as usual again. There were times I’d sit at work and just start crying. Some days I didn’t think I’d make it until quittin‘ time.

This time, though, is much different. I’m going back after only three weeks off and going back full-time. I feel good and am only carrying the baggage I think I’ll be toting around the rest of my life.

That baggage. No matter how hard I try to shake it I think it’s going to be there. It’s the nagging thought that this cancer could come back. The ever-present question: What if it returns? Then what?

Yesterday I read that in 2005 Tony Snow was diagnosed with stage III colon cancer (same stage I had) despite yearly screenings. After surgery and aggressive treatment it appeared the cancer was gone. Then in 2007 it reappeared. In 2008 he was dead.

I’ll be honest, that scared me. I’ve been thinking about it ever since reading it. I’ve been thinking how cruel that would seem. I feel so good now, like I have my life back. To give me that then snatch it away again . . . I don’t know. I’d have a real hard time with that (just being honest, you know?).

I know I shouldn’t fear. I know I shouldn’t dwell on it. I know I shouldn’t keep looking over my shoulder waiting for bad news to sneak up on me. But what if it does? What then?

The truth? I have no idea. I guess I’ll deal with it, battle it, and rely on the Lord to carry me (us, since it would traumatize the whole family) through it. That’s all I could do. Sometimes life doesn’t give you options. There’s one road that leads right through the deepest, darkest, scariest part of the valley and you just have to square your shoulders, puff out your chest, dip your chin and go for it.

I’m just so thankful I have the Lord holding my hand. I’ll pound this truth into my head: He will never leave me nor forsake me.

Okay, enough of that. Next week I start back at work and that means earlier mornings and a different schedule. If I don’t post every day like I have been, please forgive me. I know there will be days I don’t post. Maybe a couple a week. Time is precious and I only have so much of it in a day. You know what I’m talking about.


About mikedellosso

Mike Dellosso is an author of wide-eyed suspense. He writes stories that not only entertain but enlighten.

Posted on January 30, 2009, in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. 7 Comments.

  1. Susan J. Reinhardt

    Hi Mike -Great news, Mike! It’s amazing how grateful we become for the normal things of life after going through tough times. Every day, you’ll grow stronger.In my own situation, I found a constant focus on the Word of God and His love for me kept me from drowning in fear. It’s a battle I still fight, although not as often. II Tim. 1:7, Isaiah 40:31, Isaiah 46:3, and numerous other Scriptures keep me grounded.Blessings,Susan 🙂


  2. Mike, my prayers continue for your total healing. “…I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. … Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus” (Phil 3:12-14 NIV).Press on, Mike. You have many praying for you!


  3. Oh Mike! This is great news! And today I have to face an unknown with my oldest son. It’s time to determine whether or not to continue his medication for epilepsy or try to wean him again and see what happens.Those little pills he takes twice a day keep those nasty seizures away. It’s hard to find the courage to try to see whether or not he has outgrown this monster or whether or not he will have to live with it for the rest of his life. Facing that unknown is terrifying, but GOD is big enough and loves us all enough to see us through whether we’ve made it through stage three cancer or survived a grand-mal seizure. Trust. A small word with very big meaning!I’m trusting God with my son again today, and I’m trusting Him to take you through this next stage of your journey.Your testimony strengthens me and encourages me to live every day as unto the Lord.Thank you for that!


  4. Thank you all for your comments, prayers, and Scripture verses. You encourage me every day with your thoughtful comments. Yes, I need to constantly focus on God’s Word. I need to!Kim, thank you for sharing about your son. I’ll be praying for him (and you). That’s gotta be a heck of a step of faith taking him off the meds. My prayers are with you.Mike


  5. God bless you, Mike. I’m glad I stumbled across your blog, it’s inspiring. May God strengthen you while you start work next week!


  6. Mike, when you wake tomorrow it will start the rest of your life. You asked and prayed for a healing and so did we right along with you. The Lord heard our prayers, and you have been healed.You’ve had the test, and now you have the testamony of how great and loving our Lord can be to His children, and a definite demonstration of the power of prayer. Don’t waste a single opportunity to proclaim our Lord Jesus, and you will be a great light to a dark world.Because they are watching us. And I am sure you have been a testamony of God’s love throughout your ordeal. You have been that ray of light, and I know people have been touched by your journey.God bless you my friend.


  7. Mike, Although I read your blog regularly, I realize I haven’t commented in a while. And truthly, perhaps my comment today is more for me than for you or anyone else. Chuck Swindoll is quoted as saying, “Though God is invisible, he is invincible.” The message for me is that though God may seem absent at times, he really is working His best plan. A plan I might dislike, disagree with, and even loathe to see unfold in my life. Yet, God is God and I must honor him. I need to adopt Job’s mantra, “Though he slay me, yet will I hope in him…”I wish you the best going back to work full-time and pray that God will bless you in all you do.


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