Reflecting on the Year That Was
In this last week of 2009 I was looking over some of my posts from earlier in the year. In January I had my final surgery to put me back together again after my battle with colon cancer (reversal of my ostomy). It’s interesting and moving to go back and read what my thoughts, fears, and hopes were at that time.
Here’s a verse that comforted me the day before surgery:
The LORD Himself goes before you and will be with you; He will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. (Deut. 31:8)
Remember that. Whenever we’re standing on the precipice of a valley so deep and wide and dark it looks like it stretches on forever, that our Lord goes before us, carving a path, clearing a way, lighting the trail, taking the brunt of the storm so we don’t have to.
Here’s some other things I wrote during the days following surgery while I was recovering and getting used to life A.C. (after cancer):
“I have new fears (even though I want so desperately to live fearlessly) and one is the hospital. And I have fears I’ve conquered–needles don’t bother me anymore. I’ve experienced pains and discomforts I’ve never felt before and hope I’ll never feel again. And I’ve felt joy and excitement over things I only would have raised my eyebrows at before.
Cancer has totally shifted my paradigm, altered my perspective on life.
And that’s good.”
“God’s in heaven. We’re on earth. His ways are not our ways; His perspective is different than ours; His mind is greater than ours; His ideas far out-distance ours. He is God; we are man.
And yet the miracle is that He is totally near us, around us, within us. He is not a God who stays in heaven and rules from a distance. He became one of us. Emmanuel. He’s a personal God who loves up close, holds our hand, whispers in our ear, touches our heart.
Figure that out.
God is in heaven and we are on earth. (Ecclesiastes 5:2)”
“You are my lamp, O LORD; the LORD turns my darkness into light. (2 Samuel 22:29)
I like that. A lot. When darkness surrounds and pushes in around us, when it threatens to steal our hope and joy, when it becomes so overwhelming it seems we’ll never experience the warmth of the Son again, when darkness is that oppressive, that burdensome, that fear-inducing, I pray these words will echo in our hearts. Our Lord can turn even that kind of darkness (ie. sorrow, hurt, misery, fear, pain, suffering, confusion, angst . . .) into light.”
That’s some thought-provoking stuff. I’m enjoying reading over those old posts and challenge those of you who keep a blog to do the same. Read over 2009 and rediscover the year that God gave you. What are some ways God worked in your life this past year?