The Worst Part of Writing


Issues in Mental Health Nursing

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I love writing. I do. I’ll proudly shout that from any mountain top. The process has ups and downs . . . the first draft is pure creative freedom, following drafts can be agonizing, but it’s an agony you learn to enjoy and look forward to. I know, weird, like, mental health weird.

For me writing is many things. It’s a ministry, an outlet, therapy, a source of extra income, and just plain fun. And I do it for many reasons, first and foremost because I feel compelled to, driven, called, you get my point.

But there’s one aspect of writing I hate. Absolutely abhor.

Waiting for the verdict.

Here’s how it works. I work for four to six months on this manuscript, pouring my time, my energy, my very soul into every word, go over and over it. And then the time comes to send it in to my editor.

And wait. I tell myself the story is good, captivating, no, it’s terrible, boring, no one will like it, no, they’ll love it, I have nothing to worry about. I do this over and over, waiting for the verdict, preparing for the worst, hoping for the best. Back and forth, forth and back. My mood swings wildly, I go over the story in my head wondering what will be liked, what will be hated. In short, I drive myself mad . . . which would make a great storyline.

Now, please, don’t interpret this as anything more than what it is: my being honest about my feelings. I have the greatest editors in the world and respect their opinions more than they know. This is a reflection on me and my ridiculous writer’s insecurity, not them.

Oh, I know what I should do, leave the whole matter in God’s hands. Don’t worry, be happy and all that. It’s a struggle, trust me. But that’s the point, isn’t it? I need to trust Him.

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About mikedellosso

Mike Dellosso is an author of wide-eyed suspense. He writes stories that not only entertain but enlighten.

Posted on August 25, 2010, in Christian Living, Writing Life and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 6 Comments.

  1. I’m right there with you, brother. I wrote my fourth manuscript without even telling my agent the title or the genre. I wanted her to be surprised by the twists and turns in the story. She is reading it now, and I’m sitting on pins and needles waiting to hear her response.

    Ouch!

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  2. Hey Mike,
    Need an appt. with the counselor? 🙂 I’m back at the college and the students started on Monday. I’m still waiting for edits on the first book and about half way done with the second.

    I love this paragraph of yours: And wait. I tell myself the story is good, captivating, no, it’s terrible, boring, no one will like it, no, they’ll love it, I have nothing to worry about. I do this over and over, waiting for the verdict, preparing for the worst, hoping for the best. Back and forth, forth and back. My mood swings wildly, I go over the story in my head wondering what will be liked, what will be hated. In short, I drive myself mad . . . which would make a great storyline.

    I’m blogging about stress at http://www.jilliankent.com Two posts are up from the 17th and 24th and the next one goes up on the 31st. Maybe that will help. 🙂

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    • Thanks, Jill. I checked out your blog posts . . . good stuff. I especially like the image of the black dog with glowing eyes. I may have to use that in a future book!

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  3. How hard indeed! I’m just now dabbling into the world of sending out my work, and the suspense is worse (or better, depending on how you look at it) than a Stephen King novel. The name Caleb, I like to recall, means bold and faithful—not patient. =)

    Praying for God’s perfect outcome, Mike. Bless you for who you are and what you stand for!

    Caleb Jennings Breakey

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