Another Peek at My Colon


Colon1

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I’m tired; I’m hungry; I’m nauseous; I spent most of last evening in the WC.

My problem?

This morning I have a routine sigmoidoscopy to make sure there’s nothing growing in my colon that shouldn’t be there. I’m used to these things by now. Let me see, I think this one will make  number five since having my ostomy reversed last year. No sweat.

Which reminds me, this month I celebrate two and a half years of being a cancer survivor. I’ve been told it gets easier as time passes, that you think less and less about being a “cancer guy.” I guess that’s true. Where I used to think about it every hour, now I only think about it every few hours.

It doesn’t help when you get reminded of the seriousness and distemperment of cancer on a regular basis. In the past three months I’ve talked to one man who is a retired cancer researcher from the NIH. When I told him I was a colon cancer survivor his entire demeanor changed. He’d spent his life dealing with the monster and knew the teeth it had. He told me he didn’t want to be negative but he’d seen it happen so many times that someone would “beat” cancer only to be ambushed years later. It was a foe no one could quite figure out.

Then I met a woman who was diagnosed with colon cancer six years ago. She went through the same treatment I did and was cleared after five years. Blood work all looked great, colonoscopies came out clean, CAT scans were perfect. Then one day she gets a cramp in her side that won’t go away. She sees the doctor and he runs some tests, does a biopsy on her liver. The colon cancer had metastasized to her liver, right under everyone’s noses.

Not exactly a mood-lifter.

Cancer is not a once-and-done thing. You don’t get it, fight it, beat it, and forget about it. It’s there, always lingering in the shadows of your mind, always whispering threats in your ear. It’s the stranger who follows at a comfortable distance but close enough that you feel the need to constantly look over your shoulder. Only this is no stranger . . . we’re old acquaintances.

Every time I get one of these tests done I start thinking about this stuff. The nerves get a little rattled.

I realize there’s really nothing I can do about it. I exercise; I eat well; I don’t eat red meat; I do everything they tell me to do. The rest is in God’s hands. He’s knows what’s best and I’m still learning to believe that.

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About mikedellosso

Mike Dellosso is an author of wide-eyed suspense. He writes stories that not only entertain but enlighten.

Posted on September 14, 2010, in Cancer, Life in General and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 8 Comments.

  1. Kinda like a stalker, isn’t it. Lurking…you always have to be looking over your shoulder. Creepy, scary. But, God is bigger and He definitely delights when we run to Him. I’m praying for your results today!

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  2. Love you guys! Going to talk to our Daddy about you all. Sending you a virtual hug. One for Jen, too. (((HUG)))(((HUG)))

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  3. We’re praying, Mike.

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  4. Angie and Glynn, thank you for the prayers. Everything went well and my colon is “healthy.”

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  5. Glad to hear that, Mike. Been praying for you…and I know what you mean by the “shadow,” especially when it comes up close and taps you on the shoulder and says, “I’m back.” That’s when you definitely lean on God to walk you through it once again, step by step, and you KNOW that He is doing so.

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  6. Mike,

    As a six year colon cancer survivor, I can identify with all that you have written, like you, I feel myself looking over my shoulders at time, especialy when scheduled for a colonoscopy, which will be at the end of the month.

    Like you, I simply trust the Lord, He gives me the strength, to persevere, to deal with the results of the surgeries, knowing that He is allowing me to use all that I have gone through to help others and glorify Him.

    Thank you for sharing, for writing from the heart!

    Paul aka The Mayor 🙂
    http://facebook.com/paul.dawn

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