The Dellosso Family Growth Program
Some of you know this already and for the rest of you, well, this may be as much of a surprise as it was for us the first time we heard it . . . Jen’s pregnant. Yes, you read that right. She’s pregnant with our fourth and due March 12, 2011. I’m sorry some of you have to find out this way but it’s simply impossible to tell everybody individually and this technology stuff does come in handy sometimes.
Okay, so our lives will change dramatically. After eight years of not having a baby in the house we have nothing and will be literally starting over. Our life is built for five people. Throw another in the mix and things feel like they’re getting real hairy. We have a lot to do in four and a half months.
And, of course, all this change will bring financial changes. So I’ve been wracking my mind over ways I can bring in more income (besides the obvious of standing on a street corner and peddling my books).
Here’s what I came up with. I’m going to rent myself out. Hey, don’t laugh, it’ll be like “husband-for-hire.” I can clean, do laundry, play with the kids, help with homework, even cook a limited menu (okay, very limited . . . and no red meat).
I know how to iron and fold clothes. Shop for groceries (if you don’t mind a few extra bucks spent on things not on your list). Pack lunches (PB&J, chips, apple). You name it. I can do yard work and housework.
If you just want someone to sit in front of the TV and zone out everything including you, I’m your man. I’m a good listener, though I can’t promise I’ll actually hear anything you say.
If you’ve had a hard day and need a verbal punching bag, I can do that too. And if you’re really in the mood for a fight, I can spar any way you want–sarcastic, passive-aggressive, nagging, or just plain jerkish. The choice is yours.
Now, I shouldn’t have to say this but I’m sure I’ll get either someone actually try to hire me or someone verbally abuse me for doing something so stupid . . . this is all very tongue-in-cheek. But seriously, I’ll need to do something financially, um, like sell more books.
So here’s your chance to contribute to the Dellosso Family Growth Program. If you haven’t read my books, you’ll like them, trust me. Christmas is coming and books make a great, easy gift. Ask your local library to carry my books. Get your kids to ask their school library to carry them. Any way you can help.
Yes, this is shameless and I don’t care. Hey, if you have any other ideas, I’m all ears.