Freaky Friday: My Secret Hatred
I hate shopping. That’s it; it’s out in the open. Now I no longer have to walk around in shame because I’ve been hiding that dirty secret. And when I say hate, I mean really hate. Loathe. Detest. HATE.
I’m not afraid of shopping or of people or of spending money. This isn’t about fear. It’s about hatred. Shopping for clothes or some new appliance or a car is akin to having every bone in my body broken one by one. I don’t even like running an errand for a single item. A can of spray paint, a quart of oil, a gallon of milk. I do it, yes, but I don’t like it.
Correction . . . I hate it.
You may think I’m weird; you have no idea.
Here’s a list of the top 10 things I’d rather do than be subject to entering a store to shop.
10. Rub chili peppers in my eyes.
9. Bathe in jelly fish.
8. Go to a Justin Bieber concert.
7. Walk a mile on broken glass.
6. Get a nasogastric tube placed.
5. Take 8th grade math over again.
4. Floss a piranha’s teeth.
3. Watch an entire professional chess tournament.
2. Get tarred and feathered.
1. Listen to Nancy Pelosi talk for an hour.
There. Now do you know how much I hate shopping?
Posted on July 13, 2012, in Freaky Friday, Life in General, Uncategorized and tagged 8th grade math, I hate shopping, jellyfish, Justin Bieber, Nancy Pelosi, nasogastric tube, Shopping, Shopping mall. Bookmark the permalink. 8 Comments.