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Guys in Sequins

I love the Olympics. I do. Can’t get my fill of them. These are sports you just don’t get to see every day.

But there’s one sport I just don’t get. Male figure skating. What’s with these guys? What kind of guy looks at an oufit filled with flashy colors, sequins, faux deep v-necks, fur, and frills and says, “Oh, it’s perfect. So cool. No, awesome!”

I don’t get it.

The tricks I understand, the double toe whodingy, triple lutz whatsit, and all that. It’s power, it’s acrobatics, it’s athletic ability . . . but the dancing? Is there a point to it? It just seems to be a bunch of flailing arms and swiveling hips intermingled with a few spins and spills.

I’m not questioning anyone’s athletic ability. These guys ooze it, but does it have to be so frilly and furry? Can we please masculate the sport a little? Just a little? I’d watch hours of guys in jeans and skates street dancing. That would be cool. No sparkles, no sequins, no fancy schmancy stuff. Just guys doing cool tricks on ice.

That would be awesome.

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