All I Have Left

Things have been a little tense around here the past couple days. Jen and I are both glad we’re doing surgery first and that the surgeon was able to get me in so soon, but it’s a lot to take care of in just a few days. It’s like someone telling you, “Oh, yeah, by the way, you’re going on vacation for a week and you leave in four days.” There’s bills to pay, bags to pack, errands to run, plans to make for mail, the dog, work to take care of, school stuff to handle for the kids, emails to send, and so on.

We’re so blessed that so many people have volunteered to help us, and they have. Just yesterday, we had three dear friends stopping over the house, one to bring dinner, one to groom our yard, and one dropping off a recliner for my post-surgery recovery enjoyment. The thoughtful, selfless acts of others in times like this is a blessing to be cherished. And we do cherish them.

While I’m in the hospital, Jen and the girls and Josie, our black lab, will be staying with my parents. The girls will be off the school Wednesday through Friday so they can visit me in the hospital and deal with this as best they can without the distraction of school.

Today I’m fasting again (clear liquid diet) and at one o’clock I get to drink my first dose of Fleets phospho-soda. This is a new liquid laxative I’ve not tried yet but I hear it’s grab-your-throat nasty. I can’t wait. I’m shivering in anticipation.

I know I’m kind of just firing off random thoughts here but that’s the way my mind is working this morning.

In yesterday’s post I shared Lamentations 3:19-24 with you, a passage that spoke to me and lifted me. A friend at work, a co-worker, showed me how Eugene Peterson paraphrases the passage in The Message. Some powerful words.

I’ll never forget the trouble, the utter lostness, the taste of ashes, the poison I’ve swallowed [NuLYTE, magnesium citrate, phospho-soda]. I remember it all–oh, how well I remember–the feeling of hitting the bottom [Jen and I have both been there a couple times]. But there’s one other thing I remember, and remembering, I keep a grip on hope:

God’s loyal love couldn’t have run out, his merciful love couldn’t have dried up. They’re created new every morning. How great your faithfulness! I’m sticking with God (I say it over and over). He’s all I’ve got left.

Yes, regardless of what life throws at me, regardless of the valley I must travel, regardless of the battles that must be fought, I’m sticking with God. After all, at the end of the day, He’s all I have left.